Here's How To Have a Great Valentine's Day!

lonely heart in West LA

Do You Have the Valentine's Day Blues?

I am the kind of person who loves negotiating. I love figuring out the strategy to end up with a win-win.

Valentine’s Day is the opposite of this.

From what I can see in my therapy practice and IRL, almost no one ever wins on Valentine’s Day.

So why is this?

I have to think that it’s some very effective media hype. The quintessential "Hallmark Holiday".

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Couples who have been together for a while often don’t do anything too special for Valentine’s–maybe they exchange cards, or have a special dinner at home.

But for new couples it usually goes like this:

One person in the couple is responsible for the romance on Valentine’s Day. They are supposed to please the other partner with something like flowers and/or a lovely dinner, on a day when both of these things cost about five times what they will cost on February 15th.

Additionally, for some reason there is pressure to be especially creative. Memorable, even.

Valentine’s Day is one day where your partner expects you to get it right, and if you get it wrong, which is easy to do, your partner is unhappy.

All alone on Valentine's Day in Los Angeles

If you don’t have a significant other on Valentine’s Day, it’s easy to feel sad and lonely, even if you have a full and happy life.

Let’s stop the madness!

What can we do on Valentine’s Day to honor the spirit of the day and ignore the media blitz?

This Valentine’s Day, let’s do something to spread love in the world.

 Here are some ideas:

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1. Volunteer at a shelter

2. Thank someone who doesn’t expect it

3. Adopt a puppy

4. Write a letter (snail mail!) to someone you miss

5. Buy someone a goat (pig, llama, water buffalo…)

6. Offer to babysit for a friend

7. When you say, “Hey, How are you?”,  really listen to the answer

8. Smile back at the guy who cuts you off in traffic

9. Call your mom

10.Take some muffins to an elderly neighbor

These are just a few ideas to get you started. If you have a SO, include them. Start a tradition.

The funny thing is, studies show that helping others is one of the most effective ways to increase our own happiness. Boom.

So spread the love, and chase away your own Valentine’s Day Blues!

Still feeling blue no matter what you do?

Venice Beach on Valentine's Day

Therapy can really help those blue moods. You can learn ways to manage your emotions and feel better about yourself. Give me a call at 323-999-1537 or email me at, and we will have a chat about your specific situation and how I can help.

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