How to Stop Wasting Time on The Internet in 2020

3 Ways to Better Manage Your Time Online

I woke up today, this first day of 2020, in a good mood, despite my mild food poisoning the day before. I decided that maybe it was a great thing for once, to start a year literally not full of s**t.

I pulled up the shades and saw the sunshine, and Elton John’s “This is Your Song” came to mind. I began to sing. (And I use the term “sing” quite loosely in this context).

“It’s a little bit sunny, this weather outsiiiide, and I’ve got a feeling I can’t easily hiiiide…. By the time I get to, “And you can tell everybody, that this is my yeeeeeeaaaar”, my husband is begging for mercy and I decide to stop.

“So how did he get the name “Elton John’?”, I ask my trivia-rich husband. “I don’t know—he had two first names before, though”. True enough. So I Google it.

Because I can.

And there’s the problem.

Twenty years ago, I would have wondered about Elton John for about 17 seconds, and then moved on to beginning my day. I would have made coffee or done something equally necessary to my existence. Instead, I whip out my laptop, power up, and I’m off and running. 50 minutes later I realize 1. I really need coffee to focus, and 2. I need a new personal rule for searching things on the internet.

I search because I can. Because it’s quick, easy, and I tell myself it’s educational.

It’s funny—I don’t eat the whole plate of leftover Christmas cookies because I can, I don’t sit around and contemplate my navel all day because I can, I don’t even hang out on Instagram or Pinterest all day just because I can. But when I have a question, when I want to know something about something, no matter how insignificant, I cannot resist the draw of the almighty Google. It’s educational, Goddammit! I’m improving my mind, right? It’s so easy to find any answer.

Then I remember that movie with Adam Driver where he is a young guy who catches the attention of documentary filmmaker Ben Stiller, and at one point, when they are all turning to their phones to look up something on Google, Adam Driver says, “let’s not look it up” and everyone is shocked by the idea.

But I can’t remember the name of the movie, or the year, so I look it up. On Google.

And even if I can resist the ad that pops up for the shoes I just bought yesterday (they know…) I somehow get lost reading about Adam Driver, who is, after all, fairly interesting. Did you know he was a Marine? And is only 6’3”? It’s surprising, right? He looks massive next to tiny Scarlet Johansson.  Did you know she is the third highest-grossing box office start of all time? Now ensues a debate with my husband about the appeal of Scarlett Johansson.

So—does this make me feel smarter? Not exactly. My husband is reading The New Yorker and I am googling Scarlett Johansson. Whom I don’t even particularly like. What is wrong with me? I’ve already screwed up my new beginning! Argh.

I want a redo!!!!

Does this sound familiar?

I have ranted and raved plenty of times about the evils of social media, but now I am talking about something different. I am talking about getting lost on the internet searching for information. X leads to Y leads to Z and then back to A again. It’s infinite, and infinitely compelling.

So I ask you, in this new decade (yes, I know it technically starts next year), how do you want to spend your time?

Boundaries

In therapy we talk a lot about boundaries. When other people ask or expect something of you, where do you want to draw the line? Sometimes the line is physical— “I want to stop right there tonight” and sometimes it is less obvious— “No, I am not going to go see if Dad is upset at you; why don’t you do it instead?”

In November and December my clients and I talked a lot about boundaries, as everyone headed back “home”, where family expectations are often high, and boundaries are often blurred.

But now the holidays are over, and it’s time to ask yourself,

What are my boundaries for myself?

How Do I Want to Spend My Time?

If you ask yourself just one question this new year, this might be the one to choose.

If you feel like spending an hour messing around on the internet, and you intentionally choose to do so, then Enjoy! The problem is, the internet is designed to suck you in and KEEP you jumping around from link to link. The last hour you spent hopping around from site to site may be way less intentional than you think. You think you chose to spend an hour looking up the lyrics to that song, or the name of that movie, or watching those cat videos, but you may have less choice in your actions than you realize. How can you avoid being the victim of expensive advertising and well-researched design?

Here are 3 Steps to Keep Yourself From “Wasting Time” on the Internet:

1.Plan what’s next

What do you want to do after you are done surfing the net (cough, researching, cough)? Make a conscious intention for whatever you want to do next. Be specific. For example, not: “I’m going to clean up my house”, but “I’m going to fold all the clothes in the basket and I’m going to sweep the floor.” It doesn’t matter if these tasks are not something you look forward to doing, it’s about direction, not reward. If you don’t have a specific plan for what you are going to do next, it’s so easy to just keep hanging out on the internet.

2. Think about how you will feel when you have done it.

When your clothes are put away and the floor is clean, look around the room in your imagination. How do you feel? Are you happy to see a clean room? Are you proud of yourself for getting something done? Are you now more willing to have friends over, now that your house is cleaner? Take just a second to imagine how you will feel after you complete whatever task you have decided is next. If the task is something fun, all the better!

3.Set a timer

When you open your browser on your laptop or phone, set a timer for however long you intend to surf the net. Any amount of time is fine, just make sure it is the amount of time you choose. Otherwise, your time will be controlled by the nameless people who sell the advertising and design the web.

This way, if you like to spend hours shopping, or playing games, or seeing what your friends are up to on social media, that’s fine. But you get to decide how you spend your time. You set your boundaries for y

That’s it. Plan. Envision. Set a timer.

See if these 3 steps can make a difference for you in 2020!

Could You Use Some More Help Managing Your Time and Your Stress About Time in 2020?

Therapy can help you clarify your goals and figure out what has been standing in your way all these years. Most of us face the same challenge over and over; therapy can help you understand and overcome the obstacles that have been standing in your way for years. Give me a call at 323-999-1537, or shoot me an email at amy@thrivetherapyla.com, to set up your free consultation. We will talk about your specific situation and how I can help. I want 2020 to be your Best. Year. Ever!